Street Smart

Honoring the sacrifice

 


Memorial Day weekend is a particularly tough one for my older brother and sister. Their dad is still listed as Missing In Action (MIA) from the Korean War. I should explain that my older brother and sister are “technically” my half brother and sister. However, we don’t do the math that way! They’re my brother and sister…period. Here’s the condensed version of the story.

My mom was married to my brother and sister’s dad when she was 19 years old. Her husband, James Homer Elliott, had joined the United States Army toward the end of World War II (side note…my mom worked at Lockheed building planes during WWII). At the end of the war, he was mustered out but then re-enlisted and became a career soldier. When the Korean War started, Lieutenant James H. Elliott was among the first American troops to land in Korea. On the night of Aug. 27, 1950, Lieutenant Elliott was part of a patrol along the Naktong River. He never returned and his remains were never found. My brother was three-and-a-half at the time and my sister had just turned two. My mom was 23 years old and vividly recalled receiving the telegram from the U.S. government advising her that her husband was missing. Imagine that! My mom was 23 years old with two toddlers, living on a military base with no family nearby and didn’t know if she was a widow or if her husband was a Prisoner Of War (POW).

Time passed and the Korean War ended. All mom could do was assume that her husband had been killed because she didn’t receive any additional information from the U.S. Army that might indicate he was a POW who would someday return home. The government couldn’t give her any information so she really had no choice. She moved on. In 1955, mom met my dad and that marriage produced four more kids. There was still no word about her first husband Jim. My mom and dad never spoke of the situation in front of any of us kids, but I can imagine the “what if” was always at the back of their minds and had to include a certain amount of stress. Consider that! What if Jim was ultimately released from a POW camp and returned to the U.S. looking for his family? Mom and dad must have thought about that and discussed it. Beyond discussion between the two of them, what were their private thoughts? We never talked about it as a family. I wish I’d asked my mom more questions. She passed in 2015.

While it’s true that, because they were so young, my brother and sister never really “knew” their dad, the uncertainty surrounding his status still haunts them. They’ve come to terms with the probability of his death in combat (there was at least one witness who claims to have seen his body loaded onto a tank) but it’s still only a probability because his remains were never found. That “what if” is still very real for them!

My sister is very active in the effort to return the remains of Korean War soldiers to the United States. She is in constant contact with various support groups and entities within the government who are tasked with recovering those remains. Interestingly, the South Korean government has hosted my brother and sister on two separate occasions to honor their father. During the first visit, shortly after my mom’s passing, the people of South Korea presented my brother and sister with a floral wreath that they released into the Naktong River in honor of my mom and her sacrifice! On the second visit, my brother and sister were taken to a small monument that had been erected on the shore of the Naktong River memorializing James H. Elliott as one of the American liberators. Our mother’s name is also on that monument. The South Koreans are actively involved in the attempt to have all soldiers remains identified and returned home. The South Koreans are very grateful to the U.S. for our soldiers’ sacrifices during that war.

My brother, sister and I each have a tattoo of the soldiers cross and “JHE 8/27/50” underneath it. I consider myself blessed to have been allowed to join them in getting that tattoo to honor their dad. The three of us got those tattoos together and each year on that date we have a toast in his honor.

I know I’m a week late but felt compelled to write my mom, brother and sister’s story for Memorial Day. Every Memorial Day we appropriately honor the soldiers who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I pray that our nation never forgets and that we always honor our KIA, MIA, veterans and active military. I think we should also honor the sacrifice/suffering of the families and loved ones left behind. Never forget!

My sister’s email byline is particularly poignant on Memorial Day. It reads:

Daughter of 1 Lt James H. Elliott, MIA/Korean War 8/27/50

Until they are ALL home…

Blaine Blackstone is a retired Los Angeles Police Sergeant who enjoys the simpler life in Thompson Falls. He can be reached by email at [email protected].

 

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