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With the passing of icon Betty White three weeks short of her 100th birthday, people have been sharing the impact the performer had on their lives. From her roles as sweet Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, the dimwitted Rose Nylund on Golden Girls, to portraying the deceptive foul mouthed Catherine Piper on Boston Legal, Betty’s nine-decade career provided a diversity of characters and created an enduring legacy, both on stage and screen. Throughout life, Betty shared her dedication to her craft and her love for animals, continuing to work past the age many others sought retirement and an easier schedule and life. It was obvious her work brought her contentment and joy, something she shared with all who tuned in. On January 17th, Betty White would have celebrated her 100th birthday. So, what’s the secret to longevity?

While Betty missed her Centenarian birthday, my family celebrated 102 years with my great grandmother, Zamora Lucas. Zamora didn’t have an easy life. She was widowed with 3 young children who she raised on her own, working as a housekeeper. Though not flush, she provided a home filled with love and laughter. One of my favorite memories occurred after Thanksgiving dinner in my parent’s home. Grandma pushed back from the table and said, “Well, that’s a lot of food. Time to dance it off!” And dance she did, at 98 years of age, stepping a little foxtrot to music in her heart, accompanied by giggling kids. She never learned to drive. She preferred to walk wherever she went, except to travel on excursions with the Senior Center bus. The Senior Center kept her active and engaged in her community until she fell and broke a hip at 99 while chopping kindling on a snowy day. A forced move to a rehab center was the beginning of the end for Zamora but her legacy of relationships, dancing and joy in life lives on.

While studying Gerontology, I read Aging Well by George E. Vaillant, MD. This book explores the outcomes of the Harvard University Study of Adult Development. The focus of the study was to see what people who live long, healthy lives have in common. The study has now spanned almost 80 years. The main outcome was learning that “genes are nice, but joy is better”. The study found it wasn’t the people who had the easiest, wealthiest, less worrisome lives who aged well. It was those who could find joy no matter their circumstances, who engaged in their community and tended their relationships. The study outcome shared tending relationships, and finding joy, is possibly more important than genetics in longevity. Perhaps Betty and Zamora intuitively knew this. (You can read more about this study online at: news.harvard.edu/gazette/story if you have an interest.)

In Montana we are blessed to have several Centenarians in our midst. One such beautiful woman was Edith Guza of Great Falls, who recently passed after celebrating her 100th birthday. Edith is the grandmother of my lifelong friend Laura. I saw over the years the blessings and influence Edith had on Laura and her family. Like many who live a long and healthy life, Edith did not always have an easy time. She was quoted, on her 100th birthday, saying, “that the secret to a long life is not so much avoiding adversity but learning to accept everything in life as it comes.” Wise words, it would appear.

In April we will celebrate the 97th birthday of my mother- in- law, Edith Mitchell. I imagine with her outlook on life it won’t be her last. I’m blessed to be her favorite daughter-in-law (by default) and have seen her influence over our family. She was widowed while still raising children. She’s worked hard all her life, including many years as a school bus driver. Her legacy includes 9 children, 29 grandchildren, 62 great grandchildren, to date 18 great-great grandchildren and an example of getting up and getting on regardless of what life hands you. At gatherings there is always laughter and hard played cards or Farkle. Actually, you can join the fun at her kitchen table for a Zoom Farkle game every Thursday. But be warned, bring your “A” game because Mom doesn’t tolerate those who “don’t even try.”

My mother raised me to know that from our first breath we are headed to our last. She wanted me to be accepting of death, not fearful, but not in a hurry either! She encouraged me to keep a spirit of adventure and embrace new projects as Betty White lived, grab the zeal for life Zamora embodied and have the acceptance and grace of Edith Guza. I’ve been blessed to see examples of how to live my best life from inspiring matriarchs, some who have come and gone and some who live on. Some days, I admit, it’s a challenge to bring my “A” game to tasks. But I’ve found a little bit of laughter, a silly little dance step or the memories of the comedic talent of Betty White helps me reclaim my enthusiasm. As we say goodbye to Betty, may her memory fill your heart with joy and remind us to live our best life on each day we have before us.

Chelle is a recovering social worker who currently works as a licensed massage therapist at Cherry Creek Myotherapy. She moved to Montana with her husband David and two pups, Lucas and Turner, where they seek “the quiet life” amid new adventures.