Sunday's Snapshots

Earlier this month, Annie Wooden wrote an editorial about trying new things, about surprising ourselves with what we can accomplish when we step out of our comfort zones and do things we could fail at. Perhaps you’ve heard the encouragement to “fail spectacularly,” a quote that seems to be attributable to multiple sources, none of which are familiar to me and all before I was born. Still, I love this bit of advice and try to live my life with it in mind.

When I watch my children try something new, going all in, I’m reminded to be fearless. They recently picked up bows and arrows at the Thompson Falls Archery Club. The instructions to stand, nock an arrow, breathe, aim, fire made my heart race with anxiety while they made it seem simple. The youngest one struggled to keep the arrow pointing forward while the oldest one struggled to remain standing sideways, choosing to face his fear head-on. The leader, Tony, and the other parents in attendance were phenomenally patient and kind. No one seemed concerned with failure, yet they were all clearly learning, which by default includes failing. Their excitement outweighed their fear.

Last year, after their final dance class and recital, my oldest told me he didn’t want to take dance anymore. When I asked him why, I was told “boys don’t dance.” I laughed it off, listed tons of famous male dancers and let it go. Inside, I was seething. Clearly, he’d overheard something that shamed him. Over the intervening months I would show him videos anytime they came up on my phone of men dancing. We continued to have family dance parties after we watched a movie or in the morning while making breakfast. There was nothing I could say to change his mind, but I could show him how sometimes we need to ignore the haters. Spring dance classes started last week, and he was in attendance because he decided he wanted to do it again. His love of dance outweighed his fear of being shamed.

My children have no fear of success, they haven't learned that. I didn’t even realize it was a thing until I saw it in someone else. An acquaintance of mine has an entire manuscript ready for publication, it’s been edited multiple times, it’s as polished as it can get, it would find a publisher and become wildly successful in a heartbeat and yet it sits in a drawer…or perhaps in a cloud or on a thumb drive. The point isn’t where it is, the point is where it isn’t: on the bookstore shelves. Sometimes our fear of success outweighs our fear of failure.

I’m not inspired by Annie because she figured out how to dump her trash at the transfer station. Who cares if she’s the most efficient or follows the rules. I’m not inspired by my children because they became great archers or dancers. Who knows if my children will become accurate with a bow or become their generation’s Patrick Swayze. It is not success that inspires me to fail, it is the act of bravery itself. Whether or not these people continue to do the things that once scared them is irrelevant. Their success is unimportant to my inspiration.

What encourages me, what inspires me, what calls me to attempt failing spectacularly myself, is their determination to do it. The moment of choosing possible failure. The moment of choosing possible shame. The moment of choosing possible embarrassment. The moment of choosing possible success. These moments are the inspiration. And these moments are possible for all of us every day if we choose them.

There’s a beautiful poem by Erin Hanson that reads:

There is beauty waiting for you

On the breezes of the sky

And you ask

“What if I fall?”

Oh but my darling

What if you fly?

Attempt failure. Attempt it often, daily, with wild abandon. Don’t worry about falling or, if you must, worry and then give equal time to dreaming about flying. Don’t wait for Monday. Don’t wait for your birthday. Don’t wait for New Years. Find out what you can do today, now. Dare to fail spectacularly. Dare to choose that moment of intense fear and excitement, intense fear and love, intense fear and embarrassment. Choose to be the reason you’re inspired today. Choose to be the inspiration for someone else.

No one is waiting to see if you fail or succeed, we’re cheering for you the moment you make the attempt.

Sunday Dutro is an internationally published writer living in Thompson Falls with her beautiful family. Reach her at [email protected] or sundaydutro.com.